Whew! 2020 is running fast. Everyday there is news of happenings in places all over the world. The first quarter is almost over. 3 down, 9 more to go. Today, we will be talking about a very important aspect of forgiveness that is often overlooked. You need to forgive a very important person in your life. One that you cannot do life without. You know who? YOU! Yes, You! You need to forgive yourself.

There are many lives today that have been lived sub-standardly because of refusal to forgive themselves. Many people cannot forgive themselves for a past mistake or a deliberate sin and have lived their lives in tribute of that awful mistake. I know someone who finds it difficult to forgive herself when she has not had her quiet time for few days. It can get to her so much that she cannot go before the Lord in fellowship and totally deteriorates her relationship with God. These things are as a result of guilt that we feel for committing a sin. They are part of our self-moral regulation but when dwelt on, can really destroy our joy and potential in life.

Humans make mistakes. Because of the occurrence of the fall, errors are part of the average human life but we can get beyond our humanity in Christ (a discussion for another day). Due to this human tendency to walk the wrong way, forgiveness – grace for the pardoning of our sins – is available. Self-unforgiveness usually occurs when we have a high expectation of ourselves. For instance, a young lady knows (in fact she’s a teen chruch leader) and has been taught that fondling with a guy is wrong. But she’s in love. And one day, she finds herself engaged in that activity and guess what, she likes it. It’s difficult to stop. She finally stops before they go too far physically but in her heart she already done that. She begins to think about what had just happened. She goes through what led to what and finds many instances where she could have stopped it but she didn’t. Now guilt begins to gnaw at her. Her conscience is heavy, she can’t even look her friends in the eye. She can’t go to church without feeling the guilt hanging on her head. She begins to pray and ask the Lord for forgiveness. The prayer seems to be hitting the ceiling. She reminds herself of all the scriptures she knows on forgiveness but she does not feel forgiven. They all sound empty to her. God must be disappointed in her. How could she have allowed it?

I’m sure many of us can relate to some extent to the situation of this young lady. Many are entangled in addictions they wished they could break away from. Some are saddled with memories of that fateful day they wish they could undo their decisions. Perhaps for you it’s just a simple matter of breaking trust with someone dear to you. Whatever it is that has robbed you of your peace and your freedom to fellowship with the Lord, hear this:

“For if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and knows all things. Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence toward God.”
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I John‬ ‭3:20-21‬ ‭NKJV‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬

When your heart is free of all guilt and condemnation, your confidence before God super-strong. It is for this reason that the Bible exhorts us to come before God in boldness and full confidence (Ephesians 3:12). The assurance of our heart towards God is critical in our relationship with Him. But the part I like best in the scripture above is that “…God is greater than our heart…” This means that even when your heart still condemns you, when you cannot believe that you actually did that, even in that state, you can still go to God because what He says about you is greater than what your heart and conscience are insisting on. Beloved, God is greater than your heart. When He says you are forgiven, you are forgiven.

A lot of times, the high level of expectations we have on ourselves prevents us from receiving God’s forgiveness and also forgiving ourselves. For this reason you would often find highly spiritual people veering completely off the road and never coming back because of the shame and disappointment in themselves. “I easily pray five hours a day. I teach the bible study leaders in church. I hold so and so position in church. How did I do this?” These kind of people find it difficult to receive God’s forgiveness and forgive themselves. When you really understand the magnitude of grace and mercy that has been poured out towards us, you would be ever able to receive God’s forgiveness and forgive yourself. I sincerely believe that our inability to forgive ourselves is an indication of lack of or incomplete revelation of the grace of God.
Have you ever wondered how the Apostles Paul and Peter were able to be great in the ministry after their blunders and how Judas never did anything for the Lord? Apostle Paul was a serial killer of Christians or rather a special agent employed by the government to root out christianity completely. After coming to Christ, he acknowledges his sin and simply says,

“This is a faithful saying and worthy of all acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief. However, for this reason I obtained mercy, that in me first Jesus Christ might show all longsuffering, as a pattern to those who are going to believe on Him for everlasting life.”

‭‭I Timothy‬ ‭1:15-16‬ ‭NKJV‬‬ ‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬

Self-forgiveness is not making excuses for yourself. Neither is it pretending it never happened. Look at Paul, he looked at his sin squarely and saw God’s grace and mercy. He recognized the depth of his sin but he also saw the greater-ness of God in it. Paul wrote elsewhere something I believe played a key role in the whole process.

“Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”
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Philippians‬ ‭3:13-14‬ ‭NKJV‬‬ ‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬

In the context of this written text, he is referring to his previous accolades but I submit to you that it also includes his treachery to the church and to the Lord. He realized that he made mistakes and even now he is not perfect yet but he has seen that there is an “upward call of God” for which he must concentrate on. That is what he is giving his all to make sure he gets there. So he puts all possible distractions – past and present successes and failures – and he pushes forward. Lovely and Handsome ones, lol, guilt and condemnation will leave you in a static and eventually backslidden state. Recognize the “exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness towards us in Christ Jesus”(Ephesians 2:7), receive it with thankfulness and like Paul, power through that race that you need to run. Move out of the self pity and the self-condemnation into self—forgiveness. There is so much more God has prepared for you. Let go of the past and take hold of God’s future for you.

“There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭8:1‬ ‭NKJV‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬

Forgive You!