Hey guys, in today’s write up we are going to continue what we have been talking about this month. Forgiveness. It is difficult to forgive right? Let’s not be sanctimonious about this. The average person finds it difficult to forgive offenses, especially by someone you expect much from. I have come to find out that anyone who says he has no struggles at all forgiving does not really forgive. He probably decides to forget or overlook or do something else to cope. But usually he’s not really forgiven the wrong. I’m talking about the normal average human being. I recognize that that there is a level of spiritual maturity where forgiving someone is not really an issue.

So why is forgiving someone a big deal that had Jesus talking about a number of times? The answer is what I call The Do Me I Do You nature. This is basically the flesh or the Adamic nature that is inherent in every man. It is a nature that begins to manifest in the crib. It is selfish, demanding and unforgiving. I guess many of us reading this grew up on the animation Tom & Jerry. It brings fond memories right? I’m sure you would remember the countless chases between Tom the cat and Jerry the mouse. It was a characteristic feature in the cartoons that nothing was forgiven. If Tom set a trap for Jerry, Jerry would set a better trap. If Jerry distorted Tom’s plans, he would chase after him and make sure he was avenged. We loved the show. Why? Because it reflected our personal feelings and nature. We love to encourage people to get back at those who hurt them. Take back what they took from them. It is fair, isn’t it? In the Old Testament, that was the rule of the day.

“‘Whoever kills any man shall surely be put to death. Whoever kills an animal shall make it good, animal for animal. ‘If a man causes disfigurement of his neighbor, as he has done, so shall it be done to him— fracture for fracture, eye for eye, tooth for tooth; as he has caused disfigurement of a man, so shall it be done to him.”
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Leviticus‬ ‭24:17-20‬ ‭NKJV‬‬ ‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬

““You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I tell you not to resist an evil person. But whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also.

But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.”

Matthew‬ ‭5:38-39, 44-45‬ ‭NKJV‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬

It was allowed for you to hit a brother back when he hits you. If he stole from, you also take from him. It was fair and square. But in the New Testament, Jesus makes something clear. Being at the receiving end of an offense without retaliating but forgiving is more honoring and Godlike.
There was a time the Pharisees approached Jesus with a question on divorce – was it alright to divorce your spouse for any reason at all? They maintained that Moses had given them the right to divorce for whatever reason they had. Jesus replied, “He said to them, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭19:8‬ ‭NKJV‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬

There were some laws given to the Israelites because of the hardness of their heart. The bible refers to the heart of sinful man as a Heart of Stone – very hard and not malleable. In fact, it is so hard and corrupt that instead of repairing it, God decided to make a new one which is a tender and compassionate heart of flesh. Due to the hardness of the human heart, some laws were made which did not reflect God’s heart and His purpose. With the revelation of Jesus came the revelation of God’s true heart concerning certain conditions. In Matthew 5: 38-45, Jesus made it clear that the retaliation cycle, was not God’s idea neither was it His heart. The heart of God is reflected in loving those our very nature rejects to love, blessing those whom we would rather curse, doing good to those we would prefer to push into a ditch and praying for those we wish to never see again. These, Jesus says, are proof of our sonship. They are indicators of our recreated hearts.

WHAT FORGIVENESS IS NOT
Many times, when we are offended or hurt, we find ways to deal with it thinking that we have forgiven but we have not. So let’s look at what forgiveness is not. Forgiveness is not
• Denying that you have been hurt
• Pretending that the situation never happened
• Brushing away feelings of hurt
• Refusing to talk about it
• Beating the person down such that they feel so sorry and you feel good you put them in their place. They apologize and you accept it graciously (Nope, most definitely not)
Most of these are just coping mechanisms we adopt to deal with hurt and recover from pain but we have in no way forgiven if we just do this.

WHAT DOES FORGIVENESS LOOK LIKE
The word ‘forgive’ is translated from the greek word ‘charizomai’ which means ‘to give favor or to extend grace’. Therefore, to forgive an offense is to extend grace to pardon someone. A good example is Jesus’ parable of the unforgiving servant.

“Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. And when he had begun to settle accounts, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. But as he was not able to pay, his master commanded that he be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and that payment be made. The servant therefore fell down before him, saying, ‘Master, have patience with me, and I will pay you all.’ Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt.”
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Matthew‬ ‭18:23-27‬ ‭NKJV‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬

A servant or an employee borrowed from his CEO some $500,000 (just a random figure) for his 5 bedroom luxury house. At the end of the lending period, the CEO calls him and demands his money. But the employee has nothing to give so he asks for some extended time to gather the money. The CEO seeing through him decides to cancel all his debt. The CEO has shown favour to his employee and pardoned his debt. The employee goes away free. That is God’s forgiveness of our sins, He cancels the whole thing and we walk away free. In forgiveness, we look at the situation square in the face, honestly. We acknowledge the offense. We also recognize the frailties and weakness of the offender and we choose to extend grace, that is show them favour that they do not deserve, by excusing the offense without exacting a well deserved punishment.

THE ROLE OF COMPASSION
It is important to recognize the short comings of the offender because it moves us into compassion. In the parable above, the King was able to see the inability of the servant to pay the debt though the servant himself did not see it. It therefore moved him into compassion which made him show favour to the servant.

“He has not dealt with us according to our sins, Nor punished us according to our iniquities. For as the heavens are high above the earth, So great is His mercy toward those who fear Him; As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us. As a father pities his children, So the LORD pities those who fear Him. For He knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust. As for man, his days are like grass; As a flower of the field, so he flourishes.”

Psalms‬ ‭103:10-15‬ ‭NKJV‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬

You see God recognizes our makeup. He knows our frame and this is one of the reasons why He is merciful to us. If you have a friend who is blubber-mouth, and he tells your personal information abroad. Of course, the instant reaction is that of betrayal and hurt. You can’t believe he actually did that. But if you are able to recognize and understand that he probably did not realize what he was doing, perhaps he didn’t mean to say it. And that this is actually a weakness of his that he’s been trying to work on, you will begin to move into compassion and ultimately to forgiveness.

TENDERHEARTEDNESS
Forgiveness is a fruit of a tender heart. As mentioned briefly before, some laws were made because of the hard heartedness of man. They did not reflect the heart of God. In God’s promise of a new covenant, He promised to give us a new heart (Ezekiel 11:19; 36:26). A heart that is soft and tender. A heart like His.

“And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”
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Ephesians‬ ‭4:32‬ ‭NKJV‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬

A tender heart is one That is open to God and to others. It is malleable and easily moved by the word of God. A tender heart is formed by God. It is formed in time spent with Him and in moments of obedience to His word. To become someone who can easily and genuinely forgive others, we need to be people who spend time with the Lord. In times of communion with Him, our bitterness is rubbed away, our wounded hearts are made whole. And our healing comes swiftly.

There are those of us who have been woefully sinned against. The very persons we trusted have trampled on us and left broken into pieces. Those who have been raped, those who have been betrayed, those who have been deceived by boyfriends, those who seem to say that I cannot forgive this specific sin of this person, to you I say, take your broken pieces to the restorer of men. He will not just fix you but create a new you. He is draw you with His tenderness. He will open your eyes to see, really see the state of the offender and He will empower you to forgive.

Thank you for joining us…….